When I was in Luzira Women’s Prison, I really really really missed my dildo. Sometimes my desire was so overwhelming that I cried as other inmates snored deep into the night.

You see, masturbation is forbidden in prison. In order to eliminate this practice, the prison warders go as far as not permitting roll-on deodourants with the moving ball on top, into the prison. They confiscated three of my roll-on deodourants, including one that I bought from the prison canteen.

And so, tonight I am recharging my dildo with Energiser batteries, as I start my count-down to Thursday when I go back to court. There is no pleasure, no sweetness, no blissful moment, left in Uganda for the masses living oppressed by Museveni’s dictatorship.

And so, tonight, I will assert my rights to dildo-based adult pleasure, and do so every coming night until my court hearing. Should the state drag me back to jail, I will be a satiated woman.